Welp, it’s been a few years. If I stick with it this time (ADHD, no promises) I may write a life update post at some point. I thought about leading with an update, then I thought about how practically every book series I’ve ever read (okay, listened to. Ain’t nobody got time to read actual books around here!) feels the need to recap recent events and major plot points in every. single. book. while every reader silently screams into their brain void “OMG IT SAYS BOOK 17 RIGHT ON THE COVER, NOBODY IS STARTING HERE! WE KNOW! MOVE ON!!!” and so, I opted against it.
After all, I only have like 3 followers, which is understandable since I only post about twice a decade these days. I was also never really trying to gain followers with this blog, though if you’re still here, you are amazing, and I truly appreciate you. Thank you for taking the time to enjoy my nonsense FOR (dramatic pose) it is what I have that I might contribute to the world. (slumps to signal end of dramatic scene). It’s nice to be asked to contribute something other than free legal advice every once in a while.
That said, I mostly write this blog because I figure someday, when I’m long dead and gone, my kids will always be able to find, and read, this record of my life, and say to themselves, “OMG my mother was an embarrassing idiot!” And so, dear reader, may you share in that sentiment. … except the part about me being your mom. … Unless I am. … Or unless you wish I was, in which case I am now. Welcome new child. I’m glad to be your mom.
Believe it or not, I did actually come here to tell a story.
(clears throat)
ASL (American Sign Language) came up in a recent conversation (and by recent conversation I mean in a Facebook comment thread) I had about languages. More specifically, it was about languages I’ve attempted to learn but abandoned. Learning languages is actually something that comes fairly easily to me but, as this blog clearly demonstrates, I’m not always the best at following through with things.
Anyway, I mentioned that I use ASL all the time in daily life, mainly in loud situations where it’s difficult to hear, but also sometimes in situations where I’m supposed to be really quiet, which is basically impossible, and that it has also come in handy for communicating at a distance. This led me to remember that, roughly 37 years ago, give or take, that was PRECISELY the reason I taught myself ASL in the first place!
When I was in either 7th or 8th grade, I taught myself basic ASL using books from the school library. I did this for absolutely no other reason than I thought it would be an excellent way to communicate with my friends during class. It was brilliant! (I told my friends) ASL would be so much more effective than passing notes, and if we got caught, it wasn’t like they could replay what we’d said. No paper trail!
Unfortunately, none of my friends were willing to get on board with learning something entirely different than what we were supposed to be learning, and without even getting school credit for it, for no other reason than to flip a metaphorical middle finger at the middle school establishment. Not one to be deterred by mere neurotypical type thinking, I devised a solution to my one-sided communication problem. I would simply teach myself, then teach my friends what I had learned. Easy peasy. So I did.
I, of course, didn’t become fluent or anything, but I did divert considerable time and energy away from whatever useless nonsense the Man was trying to shove down my impressionable throat, to the pursuit of a second language by which I could freely discuss things like pro wrestling, Ninja Turtles, my favorite metal bands, my hated of Tipper Gore’s campaign for censorship and parental advisory warning stickers, the Berlin wall coming down, whatever Pauly Shore was up to, that Bob Ross was a painting god, Pee-wee’s Playhouse was hilarious and I didn’t care if it was intended for much younger kids, art, poetry, and whatever other interesting news and world events sparked my interest that day, free from the boredom and monotony of diagramming sentences or algebra, or whatever. I always was a little too punk for my own good.
None of my friends ever did get on board with my nefarious plans, but (and here’s the really good bit) unlike almost anything else I learned in middle school, I ACTUALLY USE THE ASL I TAUGHT MYSELF ALL THOSE YEARS AGO (circa 1987 to 1989 (ish)) ALL THE FRELLING TIME AND FOR THE EXACT FRACKING PURPOSE I LEARNED IT!!! And while I have tremendous respect for teachers now, in my adult life, and even produced one in my own uterus and everything, I still kinda want to drive up to my old middle school and hold up a sign that says, ” This Middle School can suck it! The only valuable thing I learned here came from the library!”
Given that the only other things I remember from my middle school education are the lyrics of every gods awful song we sang in choir, some basic French, which I have actually used, and beginning programming, which I have not, I think ASL probably was the most valuable thing I learned in middle school. It’s a shame it wasn’t actually on the curriculum.