Tonight over pizza it came up that I often wake in the night a few minutes before one of my animals vomits. It’s like I sense that something is amiss and hoarking is imminent. I said I think it’s just a conditioned response because the idea of animals eating barf (their own or a friend’s) is so repugnant that I just stay on anti-hork munching high alert all the time, even when I’m sleeping. I have to be able to spring out of bed on a moments notice so I can usher the other animals out the door like the police at a crime scene. “Let’s go, everybody out, keep it moving, there’s nothing to see here.”
But then Cro was all like “but you wake up BEFORE it happens. I think that’s your super power.”
So I responded, “yeah, like my Spidey sense, but vomity. *looks alert* My vomit sense is tingling.”
Cro: “Ooh I can totally see you all with a cape and a roll of paper towels!”
Me: “and a bottle of Resolve carpet stain remover, and I’m holding it all like a laser gun and I yell “DON’T EAT THAT!” … That’s my catch phrase.”
Cro: “No, it’s your BATTLE CRY!”
Me: Wow, I really have the lamest super power ever.
Though I guess it’s all just as well because all of my underwear look like this
There’s no way I’m wearing that on the outside in public. According to Andy I should be embarrassed to wear my underwear on the inside in public. All I have to say in my defense is that I don’t understand how women’s underwear sizing works. If someone wants to explain that crap to me, I’ll gladly buy new ones.