Cracklin’ Old Man

From around the sixth grade up through most of high school, I was part of a trio. Me, Jeremiah, and Brandy. There were others in our group, and membership waxed and waned, but we 3 were the founding members. 

After High School, I grew apart from Jeremiah and Brandy. I had a baby, got married, and moved on to boring grown up stuff, while the two of them enjoyed being in their teens and twenties, like you’re supposed to. 

I often thought of them and wondered how and where they were. I even went to one of my high school reunions, which I never would have done ordinarily, in the hope that one or the other might be there. Of course weren’t, why would they be? We hated high school. Everyone who saw me there (and actually knew who I was) was shocked that I hadn’t remained in contact with them, as the three of us had always been so close. 

Then, in my mid- 30’s, thanks to social media, I finally found Jeremiah again. 

I was saddened to discover that diabetes had taken Brandy, but was glad to hear that she and Jeremiah had remained close to the end. I still regret that I was not able to continue our friendship, or to say goodbye, or to tell her how much she always meant to me, and that I still thought (and think) of her often. 

I was over the moon to be back in touch with Jeremiah though, who was exactly the same person I had loved like a brother all those years ago. He’s still a big metal head, loves professional wrestling, looks exactly the same, and even has the same goofy laugh. And while I would love to say that we fell instantly back into being BFFs, too much had changed for me. I had moved on and become a totally different person than I was back then. My interests are different, my taste in music is different, I have very little in common with the person that I was and grades 6 through 12.

The two of us nonethelesd got together a couple times and hung out, but of course it was awkward, having not seen each other on over a decade. Then, shortly after we reconnected, Jeremiah moved to Texas. He got married. I got remarried. Life continued on as it always had. 

We’ve stayed in contact through social media, and genuinely enjoy reading about each other’s lives, but we don’t really talk anymore, and it’s clear we no longer have many common interests. 

Except, we discovered, we both LOVE Cracklin Oat Bran.

I made a post on Facebook a couple years ago about how I used to love a cereal that looks like dog food, but I couldn’t remember the name of it.  I’d had a weird craving for it and wanted to pick some up. Jeremiah commented (paraphrased) “Cracklin Oat Bran! I love that stuff! My husband always makes fun of me for eating it. He calls it “Cracklin Old Man””. 

And instantly I loved him even more, and loved his husband I’ve never met, and was super glad he’d found someone so awesome to share his life with. 

Fast forward a few years, we’re now in our 40’s. I once again found myself craving that dog food cereal, and picked up a box. 

Then, a couple nights ago, I was up at midnight because we were having a home security system installed (yes, at midnight. Those guys don’t play around) and I realized I hadn’t eaten dinner. I made myself a bowl of cereal and took it to my bedroom to avoid the installation guy. 

Then,remembering the Facebook conversation from years ago, I posted this photo on Jeremiah’s wall, with the caption, “Try not to be too jealous of my midnight snack. Awww yeah.”

Then, I swear to you, it was less than a minute later, I received this comment 

And that is why, even though we don’t really talk, and don’t have much in common anymore, I will always count Jeremiah among my very best friends. 

Even if we have nothing else in common, we can proudly celebrate being a pair of Cracklin Old [wo]Men. I am totally okay with that. 

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Sorry it’s been a few years, I was busy taking life too seriously

Yeah, it’s been 3 years since I’ve been on here. Here’s a recap:

  • Finished law school
  • Passed Ohio bar exam
  • Opened a law firm
  • Got married
  • Had a kid
  • Dissolved my law firm
  • Became part owner (sort of) of a renaissance festival booth
  • Got a job at another law firm
  • Lost my job at the other law firm
  • Passed Kentucky bar
  • Realized I have no time for a renaissance festival booth
  • Euthanized my 18 year old cat
  • Opened another law firm
  • Totalled my car, bought another
  • Sold my condo
  • Bought a house
  • Lost my 15 year old cat
  • 5 days later my dog died
  • Apparently my house is smart now.
  • Took myself way too seriously
  • Forgot how to be funny
  • Realized all that stuff I just listed is just stuff I did, not who I am.
  • Resolved to look for the humor in my life again.

That pretty much brings you up to speed. Glad to be back.


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starting over

In a moment of temporary insanity, and it does only take one, I got pregnant.  No, I’m not talking about when I got pregnant with my daughter in high school, though the sentiment is true enough, I’m talking about April 6, 2013.  There are 19 years between my daughter and me.  There will be 20 between her and her sibling.

I’ve known since early May but we’ve been keeping it under wraps.  I’m still a bit shocked in all honesty.  Still, Andy’s going to be a great dad and I’m really excited to give him the opportunity.

My life is a hectic mess right now though.  I’m working 7 days a week while trying to land a steady gig with some growth opportunity before I start really showing.  I’m exhausted. My house is a mess. I don’t fit into any of my clothes, and I’m stressed about finding a bigger place as this one already seems too crowded.

So that’s where I’ve been and why I haven’t been posting.  2013 has had me reeling.  But rest assured, this won’t turn into a baby blog.  I’m going to start a new blog for that. This one will remain me ocassionally finding time in my crazy schedule to share some weird, crazy, funny thing that happened on the way to _____.

For now though, the wee baby Seamus and I are going to bed.   Good night everybody.

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Just thinking about kitties

I have 2 cats aged 13 and 17 and 2 cats are really all a person needs, particularly when said person also has 2 large dogs.  But my cats are old and as awful as it is, I sometimes think about the cute fuzzy baby replacements I will get when they eventually shuffle off the mortal coil.

One day I shall have two cute baby fuzzy kitties and I shall name them thusly:

kitten number one shall be named Mewcifur – destroyer of worlds

kitten number 2 shall be named Cthmewlu – destroyer of sanity

Given my lifelong relationship with cats, I find these names wholly appropriate.

In other vaguely related news, well, vaguely related in that he too has a lifelong relationship with cats, next Thursday I get to meet Neil Gaiman.  I am ridiculously geeked.  If Amanda Palmer happens to be there as well I may pee.  And then I’ll ask her to sign the CD I am taking with me just in case while apologizing for smelling like pee.



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I’m still alive and arguably still sane

I haven’t posted much lately because Andy and I decided to throw ourselves a pirate steampunk wedding on ship in the middle of Ohio during a gaming convention and tbay we’d do all this in one month. Three weeks later we have less than a week to go, no catering menu, no speakers for our DJ, no rings, a half finished dress, a half repaired kilt, no vows written, and well the short story is, we have a venue and a vague plan. So yeah, hopefully this thing will come together because we have about a hundred people showing up.


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She’s crafty … but probably more in a Beastie Boys way

I have come to realize that because I work so much and spend a good deal of my free time cleaning, I have lost all ability to entertain myself.  I am half dressed to go out to the club an hour before I want to leave and have no clue what to do with myself.  So here’s a picture of a cool hat that I made.


I made this months ago and pretty much everyone I know has seen it but yeah, I’m really bored.

I guess I’ll go clean something now.  It’s better for everyone that way.

UPDATE:  I am officially so bored that I actually just thought “I guess I could go floss my teeth.”  I find this sad, not because it’s good dental hygiene, I’m all for that, but because I thought of flossing as a means of entertainment.


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I have the lamest super power ever, but that’s okay because I can’t wear any of my underwear on the outside anyway.

Tonight over pizza it came up that I often wake in the night a few minutes before one of my animals vomits.  It’s like I sense that something is amiss and hoarking is imminent.  I said I think it’s just a conditioned response because the idea of animals eating barf (their own or a friend’s) is so repugnant that I just stay on anti-hork munching high alert all the time, even when I’m sleeping.  I have to be able to spring out of bed on a moments notice so I can usher the other animals out the door like the police at a crime scene.  “Let’s go, everybody out, keep it moving, there’s nothing to see here.”

But then Cro was all like “but you wake up BEFORE it happens.  I think that’s your super power.”

So I responded, “yeah, like my Spidey sense, but vomity.  *looks alert* My vomit sense is tingling.”

Cro: “Ooh I can totally see you all with a cape and a roll of paper towels!”

Me: “and a bottle of Resolve carpet stain remover, and I’m holding it all like a laser gun and I yell “DON’T EAT THAT!” … That’s my catch phrase.”

Cro: “No, it’s your BATTLE CRY!”

Me: Wow, I really have the lamest super power ever.

Though I guess it’s all just as well because all of my underwear look like this



There’s no way I’m wearing that on the outside in public.  According to Andy I should be embarrassed to wear my underwear on the inside in public.  All I have to say in my defense is that I don’t understand how women’s underwear sizing works.  If someone wants to explain that crap to me, I’ll gladly buy new ones.


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You say blasphemy, I say quality bonding time. Tomato Tomahto.

My daughter wanted to come home from college for Easter so I thought it would be fun to plan a craft.  Nothing like a little mother / daughter bonding time over sculpy and hot glue, right?

I decided in keeping with the Easter theme, we should make zombie Jesuses … Jesi … whatever the plural of Jesus is, out of sculpey and then have them eat the brains of peeps.  What says Easter louder than that?!?!



Easter always was my second favorite zombies and candy holiday.  ❤


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Jenny Lawson is hippopotamusing AMAZING

Last night I was fortunate enough to attend the Dayton, Ohio book tour stop for Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir by The Bloggess, Jenny Lawson.  Let me start by saying that Jenny Lawson was wonderfully entertaining, super friendly, and all around AWESOME!  Dayton, being the lamest place on earth, was the one and only stop on this book tour or the last to tell Jenny she wasn’t allowed to curse.


She did a Q&A session afterwards and I asked what advice she would give to my daughter who is away at college and struggling with anxiety.  Her response: ‘tell her she rocks for even having the courage to go away to school, I didn’t, and pretend you’re good at it.’  She then went on at length about building a support group and being open about having a mental illness and although my daughter wasn’t able to go to the signing with me, when I passed the advice along she smiled, nodded, agreed, and then was super bummed that she missed the signing.

As to “pretend you’re good at it” Jenny explained that this was advice given to her by Neil Gaiman (OMG!!!) and that she writes it on her arm before every speaking event.  This will totally be my next tattoo.

After the Q&A we got our books signed.  Since I preordered to get the signed book plate for my hardcover and I won her blog contest for an autographed audiobook, I decided to pick up the paperback for my daughter and Andy.  When I told Jenny the book was for my daughter whom I’d spoken about, she added “you rock!” to the signature.  Very cool of her.

jl book

Then it was photo time

bloggessAnd I even got a hug from Copernicus.  🙂


So yeah, it was AWESOME!

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I apparently forgot how to tell what’s funny

I’ve had a few people ask me why I never blog anymore and my response has been that nothing funny has happened for me to blog about.  Then tonight at the Jenny Lawson book signing (which I am TOTALLY going to blog about) I was reminded by my friends and loved ones that since the last time I blogged:

  • I played Cards Against Humanity with a 13 year old entrusted to my care;
  • face planted on the sidewalk on my way into a shop;
  • took my college sophomore daughter shopping for her 5th high school prom dress;
  • told a nurse stitching me up that I was sorry if I smelled but I peed a little in the accident;
  • told my entire craft group that I’m not really into crafts, I’m just trying to learn how to like girls;
  • I’m sure there’s a lot more but I’m bullet pointing and bullet points aren’t funny anyway.

The point is, I’m back.  Crazy, weird, funny things happen in my life all the time, I just forgot to notice them.  So going forward, I am going to make a point to blog once a week.  If I think I have nothing to say, I’m going to get a second opinion.  If that doesn’t work, I’ll just post a picture of my butt … or .. something.


Filed under Just a day in my life.