Tag Archives: love

Apparently we’re fat AND co-dependent. Well that sucks.

Earlier today I was thinking about how it sucks that I have to work so much harder than Andy does to make less money than he does all because my vagina is being penalized. It’s not nearly as fun as it sounds.

Speaking of being screwed by your vagina (aka gender inequality) today when I came home from work and immediately cooked dinner like I always do not because anyone asks me to but because there’s a societal expectation that as a woman I am supposed to take care of the house and family and … WHOA! Sorry about that. I sent my daughter to a liberal arts school and clearly I’ve spent way too much time talking to her lately. I’m all for feminism, don’t get me wrong, but this is a post about co-dependent fat people.

What I was trying to say was, tonight I made a batch of Red Lobster cheddar bay biscuits for dinner because Andy loves them and I love cooking things that make him happy. But he wants me to be happy too so he does things like eat way too many and then tell me I should eat more because he feels bad for eating too many and then I eat more because I feel like he has given me some permission I needed or something and then the next thing you know, we seriously ate an entire batch of cheese and butter filled dough. 14 biscuits, you guys.  I am not even exaggerating.  I’m fairly certain we aren’t going to make it until morning.  I think I can actually feel my arteries congealing as I type this.

The sad thing is, we do this crap all the time. Not just with food either, but with being lazy. Andy is very sedentary and constantly talks me into joining him in sedentary activities. I do it easily because I like spending time with him and the things we do together are fun. The thing is though, when Andy and I got together 7 years ago, I was strictly watching what I ate and exercising every day and he was controlling his portions and trying to make a point to be less sedentary. We have become locked in a co-dependent relationship where we are each dependent on the other to allow us to be fat.

Andy and me in 2006.

Andy and me in 2012Andy and me in 2012.

So I guess the first step is admitting we have a problem.  The second step is making the rest of the cheddar bay biscuits and taking them to the pot luck I’m going to on Saturday.

Also, even though they’re mine, I’ll say it.  Boobs.  That’s not a step, that’s pointing out the white elephant in the room.  Literally, in this case.

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Filed under Just a day in my life., pictures

Sap does not just come from trees

This morning as Andy and I were lying snuggled in bed, I started to ask him a question.   I was going to ask, if you could chose between having love and having wealth, which would you choose?  Before I could even ask it though, it occurred to me that he had already made that choice.  He had made it time and again: when he bought our house to have room for my daughter and me; when he let me get that second dog we couldn’t afford; when he allowed me to quit work and go to law school; when he co-signed for my student loans; when he helped me buy my daughter’s first car; when he embraced me mentoring a foster kid and allowed me to spend our money making her world brighter; when he allowed my daughter to go to an expensive private university; when he supported me starting two businesses; the list goes on and on.  He has, at every possible opportunity, chosen love over money.  With that realization, I wept.

And then I grabbed my camera to capture the moment.  The moment I realized just how much my goofy, sweet, wonderful boyfriend loves me, and was moved by how much I love him back.

And then I thought of last night’s conversation when I told some friends about the poem Neil Gaiman wrote for Amanda Palmer and surprised her with during her show, For Amanda: an Appreciation after Christopher Fry, sort of , and I decided right then and there to simultaneously recite and compose the following:

Why I Love You, a Sort of Poem That I Am Making Up as I Go Along  (as remembered from this morning)

First, I love you because you laugh at my jokes in spite of yourself,
Second, … (um, I’m skipping this one.)
Third, I love your kisses and snuggles,
Forth, when you tell me I’m pretty, I almost believe you,
Fifth, you make me feel safe,
Sixth, you make me smile,
Seventh, I notice your eyes all the time, and I’m not someone who notices eyes,
Eighth, I love that you don’t find it gross that I like to pick your pimples and scabs,
Ninth, I love that you don’t mind that I’m weird and do weird things … like this, right now,
Tenth, I love that we have been together almost 7 years and it feels like 7 days and 7 decades all at once,
Eleventh, I love that I put our lives in my blog an you don’t mind,
Twelfth, you believe in me,
Thirteenth, I love that I can make jokes at your expense and you know that I’m only playing,
Fourteenth, I love the feel of your skin,
Fifteenth, I love that you cry at movies, because I can’t,
Sixteenth? … I think? … I love that I love so many things about you that I’ve lost count.  …

So I guess I’ll go make you breakfast now.  I got fresh bacon at the farmer’s market.  🙂

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Filed under ... in bed, Just a day in my life.