For those who may not have read my previous “conversations in bed” posts
like this one – Conversations in bed: Your guys suck at Star Wars.
or this one – Conversations in bed: Cats are punny.
I have a very difficult time falling asleep most nights. I also have adult A.D.H.D. and like to talk … a lot. All of this typically culminates in me annoying Andy until either he falls asleep despite my chattering or I wander off to fall asleep on the couch while watching Family Guy. Here are a few of last night’s bedtime story gems.
Me: I was thinking, if I had a kid named Jubal, I think I’d make his middle name Lee. I mean, why not? If you’re going to stick a kid with with a name like Jubal, may as well go for broke and make him Jubilee. Lamest mutant ever, by the way. Ohhh, fireworks. Stupid.
Andy: You were just thinking about what you would make the middle name of a theoretical kid you don’t plan on having based on a first name you don’t like anyway?
Me: Yup, that and a X-Men character I don’t like. The name “X-Men” is a bit sexist, don’t you think? There were plenty of X-Women. Really cool X-Women at that.
Andy: (ignores me and tries to fall asleep. Somewhere in the house his phone says “droid”)
Me: Phone’s droidin’, dude.
Andy: mumble charging mumble
Me: I think if I have to go into practice by myself, and open my own law firm, I think I should legally change my last name to Droid but spell it like a last name, like D – R – O – Y – D or something. Then, on my sign and business cards and ads and stuff, I can put “Droyd Law Office, this IS the Droyd you’re looking for”
Andy: Why do I let you speak?
Me: Seriously, you know what kind of cool clientele I’d get? I’d have the best clients ever.
Andy: I don’t really think it works like that.
Me: COME ON! If you needed an attorney and were looking through the yellow pages or Google or whatever and you saw “Droyd Law Office, this IS the Droyd you’re looking for” would you continue to browse attorneys? Heck no! You’d be like, ‘Frick yeah! This attorney is AWESOME!”. This is pure gold here! I could get elected to office with a slogan like that.
Me: Fine! You know, you used to share my vision.
Andy: snnnnnn (if you’ve ever heard Andy snore, you know this is dead on how he sounds)
Me: sigh Family Guy it is.