Hanging in there

I passed the bar and was sworn in but am not being offered a position at the firm I’ve been working at because the attorney market sucks and they can’t afford to hire me.  I am welcome to stay on as an overqualified paralegal as long as I want though, because I do good work.

I am trying to be brave and am going to hang a shingle and work my butt off on this venture and the small retail business that I am taking over part ownership in and hope for the best.  I have asked my supervising attorney for a letter of recommendation and plan to send some resumes out, but I am not holding my breath that they will yield a position anywhere.

Compounding things is the fact that it is going to cost me another $300 to be registered so I can begin practicing.  All of my student loans have come due, and I just got a letter from my daughter’s school saying I have to cough up $4700.00 in the next 2 weeks.  Andy is stressed from having supported me for years and seeing no end in sight and I’m having nightmares.

Earlier in the week I dreamed we faced either eating one of our dogs or dying of starvation.  Last night I dreamed I got home late for board game night with my guests on my heels to find that Andy was rearranging the house.  As the dream went on t became clear that he was doing so in order to move me out and move someone else in.  This all happened while I had guests who were complaining that there was no food and no music.

So as scary as it all is, there is really nothing else I can do at this point.  I’m cutting back to part time at my current job, sending out resumes, applying for GAL appointments, applying for adjunct teaching positions, and hoping beyond hope that I can make something good happen before Andy gets completely fed up with me never being home and not making any money.  It sucks but I don’t see that I have any alternative.

So that’s how things stand with me.  Anybody need a lawyer?

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2 Comments

Filed under Just a day in my life.

2 responses to “Hanging in there

  1. To hit the like button seems totally wrong. Those are some serious stress dreams. Today is Chaos Never Dies Day. Perhaps, after today is over, something will shift. The recommended course of action on our work bulliten board is to find one thing you can organize and work on that. I am wondering, after having a bad week, if I shouldn’t just revel in chaos for a day and then move on to organization tomorrow.

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