PSA – This is a pimple.
It is a very large and disgusting pimple, but a pimple nonetheless.
Pretty much the only place I ever get pimples is right next to my lip. I think this is probably because I lick my lips a lot. I also have the unfortunate nervous habits (or neuroses?) of chewing my lip, chewing on my nails / fingertips, and rolling my lower lip between my thumb and index finger when I’m concentrating. I try not to do these things, but I don’t always succeed.
Before I continue, I want to say, I mean no disrespect to people who have the herpes virus and unfortunately have to live with herpes mouth sores. I don’t think it means anything negative about you and understand that most people actually contract it as children through harmless daily interactions.
That said, I hate looking like I have herpes. It’s awful and makes me more self-conscious than I already am. Plus just having a lip pimple is bad enough without having people think its herpes. Lips are very sensitive. Lip pimples are, in my experience, huge, very puss filled, and cause a lot of swelling. They also take FOREVER to heal. Plus, because my lip pimple makes my lip swell, it feels funny so I unconsciously keep touching it, which only prolongs the eternity in which I have to live with it grossing up my lip.
If I had other pimples, it probably wouldn’t be as bad. But when it’s just one, and it’s on your lip, everyone assumes you have the herps. I am so neurotically worried about this stupid pimple that I have actually questioned whether it might prevent me from getting a job and have wondered if people go behind me disinfecting things in the office after I leave. Yes, I know this is irrational! Haven’t you figured out yet that I am a highly irrational person?
I have had my current facial monstrosity for about a week and it hasn’t improved in the slightest. Because I can’t stop touching the stupid thing, today I resorted to drastic measures and covered it with a waterproof band-aid.
Somehow this is better in my mind. I mean, anything could be under there. Rather than a pimple, maybe I was punched in the mouth during some domestic violence, or maybe I was in a car accident and a piece of windshield cut my lip, or maybe I have such chronically dry skin that it just cracked open. None of those things would make people wipe down my keyboard while I’m at lunch, right?
These are seriously things that I worry about. It’s no wonder I’m socially awkward. I don’t even know how to function inside my own head!