I have the lamest super power ever, but that’s okay because I can’t wear any of my underwear on the outside anyway.

Tonight over pizza it came up that I often wake in the night a few minutes before one of my animals vomits.  It’s like I sense that something is amiss and hoarking is imminent.  I said I think it’s just a conditioned response because the idea of animals eating barf (their own or a friend’s) is so repugnant that I just stay on anti-hork munching high alert all the time, even when I’m sleeping.  I have to be able to spring out of bed on a moments notice so I can usher the other animals out the door like the police at a crime scene.  “Let’s go, everybody out, keep it moving, there’s nothing to see here.”

But then Cro was all like “but you wake up BEFORE it happens.  I think that’s your super power.”

So I responded, “yeah, like my Spidey sense, but vomity.  *looks alert* My vomit sense is tingling.”

Cro: “Ooh I can totally see you all with a cape and a roll of paper towels!”

Me: “and a bottle of Resolve carpet stain remover, and I’m holding it all like a laser gun and I yell “DON’T EAT THAT!” … That’s my catch phrase.”

Cro: “No, it’s your BATTLE CRY!”

Me: Wow, I really have the lamest super power ever.

Though I guess it’s all just as well because all of my underwear look like this

IMG_0137

 

There’s no way I’m wearing that on the outside in public.  According to Andy I should be embarrassed to wear my underwear on the inside in public.  All I have to say in my defense is that I don’t understand how women’s underwear sizing works.  If someone wants to explain that crap to me, I’ll gladly buy new ones.

4 Comments

Filed under Just a day in my life.

4 responses to “I have the lamest super power ever, but that’s okay because I can’t wear any of my underwear on the outside anyway.

  1. Girl, I don’t think those qualify as undergarments anymore. LMAO

    Here’s what you do, get thyself to wally world and get some fruit of the loom. The underwear size will correspond with your pant size and the material is comfy so if you get the wrong size, it’ll still be wearable. Been there, done that. I feel your pain, now embark on your quest! :D

    • Good to know about Fruit of the Loom corresponding to pants size. I’ve bought ones that correspond to my pants size before and I could have used them as parachutes! I don’t know why underwear are sized so inconsistently!

  2. I love that the underwear say Yum and holes chewed through them. That is a great superpower. I wish I had that ability when it comes to my kids. It would save on my laundry pile.

    • They’re Cookie Monster underwear, lol. They have Cookie on the butt. I’ve been wearing them for over a decade though so there’s not a lot of Cookie Monster left either.

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